Emotion

These are hard times for the open hearted. For those who live on the emotional plane. Because that is where we reside. Not out of choice, but out of nature. We were born with amplified feelings and are susceptible to the feelings of all of those around us. There is no way to turn it off. So, these are tough days. Far too many negative emotions circling us daily, invading us hourly.

For those who read Empath Lights, you know that I tell us to celebrate being empathic. What a wonderful gift it is to feel emotions so deeply. To be able to read the emotions of a room just by walking in. To know if someone’s outside matches their insides. To experience existential joy in a joyful crowd. To commiserate with a troubled friend. To hold the hand and the heart of a beloved family member. To tremble with emotion in intimate moments. All of these experiences come naturally to us, and we learn to accept and embrace the moments as we accept and embrace our gift to feel them deeply.

But now. Now it is different. It is not so delightful being an empath. Because what do we see? What do we feel? What is flowing through the hearts of many others? Hatred. Violence. Cruelty. Aggressiveness.  Selfishness. Self-righteousness. Sorrow. A lot of sorrow. Fear. A lot of fear. And anger. A tremendous amount of anger. Although normal emotions, these become dangerous emotions when they are non-stop. Our country is raging with no immediate sign of stopping. And it is heart breaking.

I have no sage advice to make it stop hurting. It won’t any time soon. We have to move through this as a society to get through it. We can only hope and pray that the emotional and societal upheaval will leave us with a more humane society.

So, my dear empath, please take care of yourself the best you can. Adjust your expectations for yourself until this time is over. We are not going to carry on as normal or get lots of stuff done. Our energy will often be depleted. We are going to feel and to cry for this deeply broken country and all the injustices and lies that we see and feel. Our prayer must be for the best possible outcome and the return of hope and justice. The only way out is through.

I can match you. Without even trying. It’s pure instinct for an empath. My emotions will rise up to meet and mix with yours. It’s crazy scary but exciting for a young empath. As you get older, you can learn to recognize the green lights and the red flags and where each encounter is likely headed.  We can choose to lean in or get away. Because when your emotions become ours, it changes us. Simpatico cool and good. OR simpatico creepy and scary. That’s why we need to be careful who we spend time with. If your emotions bleed into us, does it make us feel energized or exhausted? Depends on the emotion.

People like to be around empaths because we are good listeners. We are intense listeners. We are in the moment with you. We will meet you where you are. We become linked in. But do we want to link into the emotion you are serving up?

See the attached image. Emotional flow. Emotions can flow or be static. When I feel wary of the inner emotions coming my way from someone in close proximity to me, I try to picture their inside vibrations. If there is flow – like flowing lines – it’s okay. Emotions are flowing normally. If there are a lot of jagged and static lines, I disengage as quickly as possible because the chaotic feelings are overwhelming. I can’t quiet their emotions, and I have learned that it does an empath great harm to absorb toxic emotions for someone else’s relief.

So what are some examples of great flow moments and big static moments? Flow moments occur when combining with someone else’s emotions to achieve a higher (sometimes euphoric) level. They happen in romance, at concerts, during sporting events, while hiking. Worst static moments occur near someone out to do you emotional or physical harm. They happen in assault, browbeating, instability, shaming. Of course there are other examples of both, but you get the idea of the fun or the danger that empaths face when commingling emotions.

Tuning in to flow helps empaths know when to go for the ride and when to jump off the train.

Think about it cuz you know you’re gonna feel it.

The world is too much with us. Yes, that’s what it feels like. That is exactly what I thought the first time I saw this quote. Emotions from out there are circling around me and infiltrating me, like it or not. Overwhelming. How can I bear it all to infinity?

The world is too much with us. My younger self was at the mercy of the emotions of others around me. I tried to understand and save everyone. This quote meant that I had to bear it. Emotional baggage was heaped on me, and I carried it. To no avail. I’m only human, and my compassion eased some pain sometimes, but I couldn’t save anyone. After a troubled friend accused me of leaving her (to visit my parents) saying she almost killed herself, I knew I was in trouble. I had to make some changes or go under.

The world is too much with us. If you know what an empath is and that you are one, your entire life falls into a different perspective. You get it. Oh, that’s why I did that. And that’s why that happened to me. And that’s why I am doing this now. You can keep the world close but not disappear into it. Because your emotions matter too. Not just everybody else’s.

The world is too much with us. So why not own it? Accept. Acknowledge. Walk the line. Understand that “It is what it is.” When we know what “it is,” we can have clarity of understanding. Empaths are great listeners and can help with healing. But we are not saviors. We are people with the emotional gift of feeling your feelings and mirroring them back with tremendous compassion. We can use our super power, but we need to protect ourselves too.

“The world is too much with us” is the first line to a poem written by William Wordsworth about 200 years ago. He was warning people not to get too caught up in wanting material goods and telling people to stay close to nature. My take is to not get too caught up in someone else’s drama and stay true to your own empathic nature. You can be an empath without letting the world crush you. Even now.