Month: June 2019

No. Nope. Uh-uh. No way. No thanks. I can’t…. There are so many ways to say “no,” so why is it so hard for some of us?

Sensitive people don’t like to disappoint others. We want to help. Empaths know what you are feeling, what you want. Also, we have trouble with boundaries. A lot of trouble. And people who don’t respect boundaries are often drawn to us. Saying “no” is a challenge for us.

Two thoughts to keep in mind:

You can still be a good person and say no.

“No” is a complete sentence. ~ Annie Lamott

Highly sensitive people often say “yes” because they want to be kind. But is it really kind to say “yes” when you mean “no?” It is dishonest at best and underhanded at worst. Because when you say “yes” to a commitment but don’t mean it, you have planted the seeds of resentment.

” A great way to tell when you feel ‘no’ is to watch for resentfulness. Resentment is the red flag that lets you know you are in a situation with an energy imbalance, where you are giving more to a situation than you are getting back.” ~ Lisa Campion

It is normal and healthy to say “no” when you don’t want to do something. You are being true to yourself, you are being honest, and maybe there is someone else who actually wants to do the thing that you don’t want to do. (It’s also not a bad thing for someone to have to figure out something by themselves.)

Some advice:

~ Be direct. Use the “no” word.

~ Don’t apologize for saying no.

~ Giving a reason is optional.

~ Trust your feelings/gut.

~ Provide an alternative, if you wish.

~ Avoid serial askers.

Be prepared – people do not like hearing “no.” (Do you?) So there will be some uncomfortable feelings. We just gotta ride that wave til it passes. Not passing, make an exit til the tide clears.

People say “no” all the time. You can too. When you say “no” to others, it is often saying “yes” to yourself – to your beliefs, to your time, to your own needs. Say “yes” to you.

May all grow strong in this place of healing, our sanctuary from the loudness of the world.                 Marianne Williamson

My dream home is a cottage on the beach. My real home is not a cottage on the beach. However, I can still create a dreamy peaceful haven in the home that I inhabit. So can you.

In these uncertain and turbulent times, it is more important than ever to have a home sanctuary, a safe harbor, a port in a storm. Google defines haven and sanctuary the same as “a place of safety and refuge.” Shelter is “a place giving protection from bad weather or danger.” Home is more than just a place to live. Or it can be.

Serene. Calm. Welcoming. Peaceful. Cozy. Do these words conjure up your home? If yes, great! Think about how you did it, and do more of it. If no, no worries. We can always modify our homes to get the good vibes that we want them to give. We can create homes that are restorative, relaxing, harmonious, and rejuvenating.

Think sensory and decorate with intention. Colors, pictures, objects, and photos create a mood. Only keep objects that give off good vibes and provide good memories.  Bring natural beauty like wood, plants, and shells into your home.  Be aware of the sounds and the smells of your home. We can adjust with music, candles, foods, etc.

All rooms matter, so get rid of clutter and bad mojo. Clutter is the opposite of calm, so put away or give away excess stuff. Bad mojo can come from an object or a person. Either way, you don’t want it/them in your home. Throw away or give away an object from anyone who upsets you. Open the windows for air or light some candles with prayers to get rid of lingering negative energy when certain people have been in your home.

We can carve a little private personal sanctuary space in our homes. Like me, you may not have the luxury of a room, so it may be a corner or a desk or something as small as a shelf. Fill it with objects just for you. Objects and pictures that make you feel better and make you feel whole. Spend time there every day.

Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling. ~ Cecelia Ahern …. Let’s make it both.